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Mourning Effort

by Morning Effort

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1.
Last night I had a dream where I died. And I don't think it was a nightmare. And I don't know why I'm not scared. I drove my car off on thin air accidentally but I didn't care. And I know I wouldn't care.
2.
Tonight feels like I'm back in Jr. High. Feeling sorry for myself. Falling asleep listening to Hawthorne Heights. Wishing I was anything but alive.
3.
Though I’m the worst kind of friend you can have we can stay up for hours and joke of how sad I am. And I'll wonder how to hell did you get me out of my room. I’ll tell you my secrets and what they imply and eventually we’ll be forced to watch the sunrise. And I’ll count the things that I’m not content with and guilt trip my way through another one sided friendship. And I know that I don’t know if you’re sick of me and sick as I am of myself. And I’m told that I’m old enough to know when and when not to ask for help.
4.
When I open my mouth I do more harm than good. Because I'm just an asshole, not misunderstood. I have a way with words that make me say everything but what I mean. What did I do now? Was it something that I said? I'm sick of upsetting everyone I care about with the stupid shit inside my head. You're all better off with me gone so I guess that I will just leave. The cons outweigh the pros when you wear your heart upon your sleeve.
5.
There is nothing you can say to me. I can tell you're sick of me. I'm well aware I'm a disease. And you've come down with a case of me. I'll leave you alone. Please leave me alone. I won't bother you. I'll spend another weekend at home. I'll call you up and I'll say hi you'll say hello and I'll say goodbye you'll wonder where the hell I went and I'll be here missing the times we spent. When I was always the one who changed the one who left you and went away. I was sure it'd get worse if I had stayed but now I'm gone and everything's the fucking same. (I'll say goodbye in a way it's not obvious. I can't get high enough to get over it.)
6.
BM on MB 03:32
Porn doesn't fill the hole in your chest. I know how fucked up you are by the smell of your breath. You're fucking trashed but that's okay. The sleepless nights go by faster that way. I'm going to die. But I'm alright. Wisdom in time.

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released December 25, 2013

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Morning Effort Illinois

Were from Illinois.

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